Search Results

Greetings and salutations! I planned on writing about the use of the pentagram in The Elemental Pentology, but as I've recently observed Ostara, and I'm aware those following other religions (or not) will mark Easter soon, I thought I'd do another small detour to talk Easter Eggs; not the chocolate variety. This post will contain some mild spoilers , not enough to betray the detail of my stories, but maybe enough to suggest how certain things may happen. But, regardless, I'd love it if you read on! Easter Eggs are defined, in a creative sense, as being references to a character, a secret code, a cryptic message, a special surprise, or clandestine quote, hidden by the author for readers to find. Which, as a woman who has always loved having one or more matryoshka in my home, such an idea really appealed to me. And I love knowing there's so many more layers in what I've created. I honestly don't know any other way to write. I've always paid a great deal of attention to my choice of word, of what attributes (physical or otherwise) I give my characters, of the locations I select. There is meaning behind so many aspects of my creative worlds that it would be easier to find what isn't a representation of something more. That's not to say everything always means something - sometimes the walls are just white, the sofa just black, the fixtures just chrome. But... combined together, perhaps there is something more there... perhaps. And, I guess, that's the point. I want to put consideration into my selections, I want to really consider what choices I make, but I don't want to become so ensnared by it that it becomes too academic an exercise. I want some fun. I want some flexibility. I want my readers to interpret things their own way. Sometimes. In The Elemental Pentology , I needed to create a fictional book in order to convey a theme of redemption with the use of feminine rage and power. There are many such books already out in the world, but I didn't want to date my work (though, I acknowledge, I've done so in the use of specific vehicles... something I plan to edit at a later date), and I didn't want to worry about copyright. So, I created Path To The Dark Moon , my next book due for publication. This allowed me far more control over the narrative, and also allowed me to use even more Easter Eggs in how I approached the whole thing. Not only is Levka - the Goddess of Fire - using Path To The Dark Moon as a text to teach from within Torrefy , in her guise as Leonie Etincelle, English Lecturer, but she is in the book. Kind of. There is a character from the Pentology in the book - Armel - who is there and named. And Levka knows Armel, all the deities from the Pentology all know Armel. Armel even asks about the rumours of the return of the Quintet in the book. And, one of the main characters in Path To The Dark Moon is Lilith, who, it is revealed, is Levka in another form. So, this book within a book, is real within their real world, telling a story that is fact in a fictional world... it's a labyrinthine spiral. And I adore it! This use of characters across books, across worlds, is something I'll keep doing. I did it in the Pentology, as some characters died only to reappear later because the Pentology isn't written in a chronological manner, with time woven and bent over and again. I have created an alternative history of the world, and my work will fit within it, while also utilising the known accepted history. The friction caused between these two threads, and how I can play with them, provide me with so much material, and so many moments of pure joy. There's real happiness to be found in that moment when everything just works ... and I sit at my desk and laugh. Some may say that laugh is more of an evil cackle, but... hey, I never said I was writing happy tales. There is darkness in my black heart, and that won't change. And while The Menagerie is not as overt in the use of characters already seen, there are certainly characteristics of people we've already met, and ones who I've got prepared for future work. Of course, there will be some Easter Eggs which no-one will ever figure out. They're personal to me and unless I decide to explain, they'll likely turn to ash with me. Some are phrases only close friends are aware of, and know the meaning behind. But, as is the case with most Easter Eggs, that doesn't remove the enjoyment for people who are unaware of it being a hidden clue. That's what is so good about them. I love finding them in work I read / watch / listen to. And I love creating them in my own work. I'll continue to craft such gems because I get such a kick out of placing them into my work knowing that those layers, one day, will get unravelled. And if not, then, that's ok too. Next time... I plan to continue my updates about this series - I've much more to reveal! My focus for the next blog will definitely be around the use of the pentagram as a key symbol. Thank you for reading. To be the first to know when the next post is live, be sure to sign up for updates!

Content Warnings: Abuse / abusive relationships / domestic violence / suicidal ideation Greetings and salutations! Henri Matisse said " Creativity takes courage " and it took me time to understand that. I feel it's quite a layered statement, and one which can be seen in different ways. For there is bravery to voice what you feel, there is bravery in exposing your creativity to a world which tends to seek the familiar, and there is bravery to accept your own self and where your work fits - and, of course, who will stand by you when you finally find your voice. Or rather finally have the courage to use your voice. I know my voice was always there - in my imaginative escapes as a child, in the way I would seek solitude, in the elaborate world I created in my head. My dragon tattoo on my chest is an ode to the imaginary dragon I had when I was small; who wants a person, when dragons are an option? But, despite believing in my own voice, it was challenging to use it. Children are fearless, but that also means they are cruel. If you don't fit the expected mould, then the difference feels uncomfortable. And, because of who I am (which is a whole other discourse, for another time), it was easier to comply and just be. I was different, but there was a limit on how much difference was acceptable to those around me - family, classmates, society. I don't include friends in that list because I've always struggled to keep them. My idiosyncrasies always drove them away in the end - until I found my ride or die. So, for most of my life I wore a mask. And on the rare occurrences I let that mask slip, I was punished for it; sometimes literally. Slowly, though, I learned to save those metaphorical rocks thrown my way to build my own throne. My own queendom. My own courage. If only it was that easy. Though I've always let my mask slip in my writing, no-one saw. Because I was made to believe no-one would ever want to read anything I wrote, that my words had no value. As a result, I lost so much time with ideas faded and stories untold. Finding the courage to share my work with the world was a daunting act. I don't view it as brave, I don't feel brave - but I do feel empowered and strong. I feel as though I entered the publishing world with my eyes open. I knew as an independent self-published author it would be tough, and I set myself very realistic targets. With creative work which covers a hybrid of genres I knew it would be difficult to find an audience; and that's ok. My goal was to use my voice. To achieve a dream I'd had since I was young. And I've done it. I've shared my mind, my life, with the world - which is terrifying if I actually sit and think about it that way. I've opened myself up to criticism from strangers, I've poured my past, my heart, and my soul out in every word, every design, every social media post. But, all I've had is support. In fact, far more support from strangers than I've had from those closer to me. That's not to say things have been amazingly positive - there are absolutely some hard lessons in publishing, and there are costs which seem to only increase. And I'm tired. There are posts which get no real traction and the ones you least expect to succeed flourish. And, one day, I'll get past that invisible barrier which keeps my posts in a small circle of views. Despite it all, I'm a phoenix rising from the ashes of my past. I've channeled the trauma into material; which may or may not be the most healthy of ways to deal with what I've been through, but it was better than succumbing to the knife. To the vodka. To giving up at times when I saw no way out. While those feelings of despondency never go away, I can handle them now from a much better position. The years of therapy for my C-PTSD truly changed my life. I never thought I'd be able to survive the abuse, the assault, the loss... and more. So much more. More than I will share right now. Not here. Now, I can use this to improve the lives of others. Of strangers who I've never met, and may never. I've reached a point where I feel confident in my voice - to use it to share the experiences which shaped me, to use it to hopefully prevent someone else being hurt as I was. And it has been so validating to receive kindness and support from those same strangers. This is a bittersweet feeling. I had hoped to feel that same support from people closer to me, but it has been lacking. I had shared The Menagerie with the intention of it opening up the conversation about my past. I had pointed out the content warnings, I had offered to talk. But, instead, the content warnings were a reason not to read, not to piece together the message. Perhaps I should have been clearer. But there are limits to how many times and how many ways you can try to discuss something which is denied. And I've tried. I have tried. Every piece of creative work I've written, every story I have shared, has my life threaded within it; the themes are dark, the violence is brutal, the love always has sorrow woven through. Writing was how I showed my bravery, writing was how I was able to process the things which affected me. And offering my creative work to those close to me was my bravery in trying to address topics which mattered. Their silence is heartbreaking. But we all have our own timetable, and we all have our own battles. My bravery to voice what I feel, my bravery in sharing my creativity with the world, with those I'm close to, and my bravery in accepting my own self has cumulated in this moment. And perhaps others aren't ready to find their voice yet, nor ready to hear mine. Perhaps this courageousness will be step too far for some... and that's ok. Because I'm doing this for me. This is my voice, my story, my words. And if those who are hurt by me speaking them fail to see just how much it almost destroyed me to live them, then... I'm brave enough to speak them alone. Next time... I promised a deeper dive into the themes and choices I made creating The Elemental Pentology within my last post, but with the release of The Menagerie I shifted my focus... so, I'll be explaining more about that world next time. Thank you for reading. To be the first to know when the next post is live, be sure to sign up for updates!

Greetings and salutations! After a timely detour to matters more personal for my last update, now I return - as promised - to The Elemental Pentology . Of course, all writing is personal and influenced by experience - either imagined or lived. And while The Menagerie was a very personal collection, The Elemental Pentology also had small glimpses of me within it; albeit the whole series was a very passionate advocate for my own pagan ideals. Part of this was the use of the elements to drive the story. And, by introducing one element in each book, I was able to cascade how the elements work together - like a Russian Doll - as the story continued. For those who are attuned to the natural world, we know that elements make up everything! So, I was able to use the elements to both highlight the arcane strength within them, while also demonstrating how their removal has hindered humanity's survival. I selected to start with Spirit, as I view it as the foundation element - it is the element which joins all others. It is also the element which appears at the top point of the upright pentagram. From Spirit, I have moved around the pentagram - moving down to Water, then Fire, across to Earth, then up to Air. Each book has the previous element(s) and the new one, until - by the final book - all five elements are together. At this point, we see the strength which is found in unity. The strength which comes from the five elements working together on a singular purpose. The notion of five elements isn't anything new - they've been understood for centuries, and worshipped for longer. However, most people tend to think of four - water, fire, earth, and air. Spirit is usually omitted, despite it being the one which holds everything together. This is, also, one of the reasons why I opted to start with Spirit, and why Katya hid so much initially; it took the other elements and the story's reveals to really understand exactly who she was. Spirit / Alabaster: Katya Iskralin is the embodiment of the element of Spirit. She is the oldest, and first, of the quintet and - spoiler alert - so much more! The element of Spirit is multidimensional, an essence which transcends the others, yet remains singular. Spirit is usually represented by a circle, an ouroboros, an equal-armed cross, or an infinity sign - it is a symbol of life's continuation from birth, to death, to rebirth. It is an element of enlightenment, of eternity, and connectivity. And while Spirit is beyond virture and vice, Katya definitely is not. Though, which one she is remains open to debate - I intended her to be morally grey! But, her behaviour aside, Katya does embody the quiet intelligence and unassuming power with a grace and power which indicate her connection to the element, and the world. She's just not always very good at sharing her knowledge with the people who need it! Water / Lacrymosa: The second sister is Talya, the element of Water. Not only is the element seen in the character, but is a character in itself with the weather taking centre-stage. Water is a feminine element, and one seen as a mediator, a compassionate and purifying force. It is quite an emotive element and one rooted in wisdom and reflection. There is forgiveness and receptivity, but also the possibility of indifference and depression; traits which became incredibly useful to drive the story - especially where Talya could remove empathy from the situation and take actions some would deem cruel. Talya, who is working as a therapist, is able to use her element to support and guide her clients, even as she struggles to handle her own revelations. Her character arc - from a woman who ends a relationship in a misguided act of sacrifice, to a woman who finds true acceptance and love - was one of my favourites to write. Fire / Torrefy: The element of Fire is found in Levka. She was a delight to write, because her character is so playful and passionate. As a masculine element, there is a forcefulness which runs through it. There is power, strength, and control - all traits which were vital to convey within the story, as everyone has both masculine and feminine within them. Fire is imbued with energy, with the breaking of barriers, and the asserting of one's will. There is a real sense of confident warmth and enthusiasm. The lust for life, and flamboyant desire to act on impulse, certainly made Levka a character who takes risks and enjoys her time; this also means her reactive nature can lead to entertaining diversions and possible errors of judgement. Despite this, though, Levka has a fierce loyalty which is unmatched. Her dedication and embracing of pleasure makes her a strong woman. Earth / Sempiternal: Calina Iskralin is the element of Earth, which settled the series back down following the more reckless exploits in Torrefy. Another feminine element, Earth is an enduring and stable influence. There is serenity and a sense of grounding, which is definitely needed as the events continue to unfold. Memory and rest are also key aspects of this element, which add to the sense of calm Earth exudes. Patience, dependability, and contentedness mix with possible rigidity and day-dreaming. Calina, as a scientist, has a wealth of knowledge she is aware she can't share, not without revealing the truth of who she is. She has patience and she acts in ways which demonstrate her understanding of those in her team, and takes actions which show how dependable and thoughtful she is. Her calm nature really demonstrates Earth as an element. Air / And Let Time Stand, Still: Finally, Zoya is the embodiment of the element of Air. The youngest of the sisters, yet a powerful element which adds to the dramatic conclusion. Air is another masculine element and is associated with enlightenment. While it is also related to the childhood years and spring, Air has a practical side which comes from intelligence. There is joy in this element, but also vices of frivolity and impulsivity. Air has a vitality to it linked to day-dreaming and communicating, but an imbalance can lead to stagnation. Another reason why I chose to place Air last is due to the youthful nature of the element which suited the youngest member of the sisters. Zoya also has a unique combination of qualities - working in law enforcement while also acting on instinct to take lives. She has an exuberance in her approach to life which has found means to co-exist alongside practicalities. But why use the elements? Why put those traits into a character and manipulate the expected strengths and weaknesses of each element? Why narrow the scope into the five common elements, and ignore elements seen in other cultures (e.g.: wood or metal, etc.)? All are good questions and... I can only return to my first point. This series is mine, therefore I come at it from a place of bias. This is my understanding, my faith, my lore. So, for me, the elements as goddesses who are attempting to correct the patriarchal damage done to their nature-based matriarchal society seemed a logical approach. Using the elements meant I had clear definition between each book and between each of the five goddesses. There was a risk, especially with such a large cast of characters across the series (and, believe me, the cast is large and complex to keep track of!), that the definition would be lost when the main character in each book was a 'strong female lead'. I didn't want to write a cliché, I didn't want to create a tokenistic gesture of a character - I wanted my characters to be themselves. To be a recognisable and defined person. So, having a structure to fit my characters to - that helped. I didn't stick to it too rigidly, there's still scope for misdirects and flaws. But knowing I had five elements to work with meant my main five goddesses already had a point of connection for readers. It also gave me something to play with and circumvent because... well, spoilers. Next time... I plan to continue my updates about this series - I've much more to reveal! My focus for the next blog will be around the use of the pentagram as a key symbol. Thank you for reading. To be the first to know when the next post is live, be sure to sign up for updates!

Greetings and salutations! I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you a little more about me, and also share some insight into my writing process. My plan is to create a new post at least every three months which will give you an update about my progress on new projects, reveal exclusive work in progress details, and provide some of my other thoughts too. While I've been writing for as long as I can recall, life really derailed my plans to get my words out into the world. I know my style, and the topics I write about, won't be for everyone, but I believe my voice is one that should be heard. I have lived in my imagination, I have danced to music alone, I have let my hands trace out the contours of people no-one else could see. I have watched events occur that were invisible to those around me. I have seen stars explode, galaxies stretch beyond the sky, and decay sour the air. This world I see, I want others to share. I want the way my skin chills to be felt by others. I want the way my heart races to pulse under your skin. The world is cruel, and kind. The world is welcoming, and barricaded. This conflict between light and dark, between life and death, is a cycle I have always been drawn to. I guess I have always been searching for the 'right' place to fit in. Some harmonious place where my unique self feels home. I found that in words, because life... not so much. One of the primary themes of my Pentology - which was released monthly from January to May this year after initially creating it over twenty years earlier - is that of contrast. Of how absolutes aren't actually absolute at all. And how the dark is absolutely needed for the light. I'm going to do a deeper dive into the bigger themes another time, but for now, let's talk monochrome and vectors... I have purposefully chosen a monochrome theme for my website, but also for my publications - the cover art, and internal art (in The Menagerie, due November 2024) is always predominantly black and white, and shades of grey. For me, the stark black and white adds emphasis to the themes within, and the division I have always felt within myself. The use of the alchemical symbols for each cover continued this theme of how a simple vector image can convey a wealth of detail - each elemental symbol a representation of so much more! A circle is not just a circle, but is Spirit, and the embodiment of life and death, of the complete cycle of divinity, of the strength of eternity. And likewise, the triangular icons for the other elements are enhanced with the colour image accompanying them to convey the theme. Of course, I had to use a little colour to ensure the element was also clarified - so Alabaster added grey, to suggest that maybe the 'bad guy' isn't the bad one... and maybe we're all morally grey. Water needs blue, fire needs orange, earth needs green, and we complete the cycle with more grey for air. At the core of it all, though, when viewed together and also on a bookcase (which still amazes me, that my words are there ... in a book... on a shelf!), is the monochrome stark black and white. For me black and white is a harmonious conflict, and it is a starting point for imagination to flourish. It is an evocative canvas my mind manipulates. I have more I would love to share with you... about why I chose the elements, why I chose five of them, why I chose the names I did, the themes, the arc... but, not yet. Not yet. Next time... I chose the name 'Ariadne's Web' for this for several reasons... one, my surname translates to the Russian word for spiderweb, but also because as you get to know more, you will see the stories I weave. You will understand a little more about me. And the threads will create a larger picture. Thank you for reading. To be the first to know when the next post is live, be sure to sign up for updates!